My post on leadership turned into more of a discussion on gun violence and school shootings (they are different) than the intended subject.
Rhetoric is essential for effective leadership. It is a starting point for everything else. One of my points was that on the same day as Mathew McConaughy was giving a speech at the White House, Joe Biden was on late night TV with Jimmy Kimmel. MM sounded presidential, JB sounded like a bitter celebrity. Total role reversal. The best way to solve a problem is not what Joe Biden does and blame everything on Trump and the new MAGA Republican party, but to identify the problem and find the solutions. That was what I liked about Mathew McConauhey’s speech. I didn’t agree with every point, but it was presidential, unlike the presidents.
To turn the page on that I’d like to start a discussion on the current problem.
First, gun violence and school shootings are not the same thing. The only commonality is guns, which are the tool of choice in both cases. Removing the tool is naive thinking and won’t solve the problem. The most deadly school massacre was committed in 1927. The tool was a bomb.
So, tool of choice aside. The main problem becomes: What causes a young man (it usually is an under 25 man) to go into a school and kill innocent children. The answer I have come up with is nuture.
Puppies acquire most of their socialization skills when they are six to eight weeks old. Removed from their litter before this period and you have a dog that doesn’t know what to do with other dogs. They don’t know how to interact or play. I have experienced this personally with one of our dogs that we took from her litter at 6 weeks. She was great with people, but didn’t know what to do with other dogs.
The period for a human to acquire socialization skills is quite a bit longer, but still exists. The boy raised by wolves doesn’t know how to deal with other boys. They must have the natural interactions with siblings, other children, and adults both as parents and authority figures in order to develop properly. We haven’t taken the socialization period away, but we have, through our schools changed the environment that boys grow up in.
There is a chicken before the current egg: the self esteem movement. Started sometime in the eighties, children were taught that their own self was more important than the community whole. That didn’t turn out well for us. If you look at the timeline between when it became popular and the current demographic of WOKE liberals, I think you will find a correlation. It’s not the political theory that bothers me. People are entitled to an opinion. The key to a succesful society is the willingness to discuss and reach compromises. The WOKE left is a bunch of spoiled kids taught that their own righteousness is more important than anything else. If you grow up thinking you are never wrong, that it is always someone else’s fault or you are a victim of circumstance you become this type of person as an adult.
The current flavor of choice comes in the form of critical race and queer theory. Teach kids that they, as a result of their birth, are the problem, and they either comply with the teachings or become what the teachings actually say they are—bad people.
Somewhere along the line we (society) decided that boys shouldn’t be boys. They should be more civilized and act like girls. And if that is not possible they should be medicated. Nothing against either gender (and yes, there are only two, biologically speaking, which is what I am talking about here), but they are hormonaly different.
Boys need to act like boys, and if that is stupid, then so be it. I used to jokingly tell my daughter when she was in high school that boys are idiots. It explained a lot of things. And many are idiots. They have to go through that period in order to mature into an adjusted adult. Their school years are the same as the puppy’s six to eight week period. If they don’t learn how to settle their own disagreements and play without adult supervision, they will not become rational adults. You have to get your feelings hurt. You have to learn to deal with bullies. You have to be able to make mistakes. You have to fail.
The schools have done their damage, but the family is to blame as well. Kids, especially boys need fathers. They need mothers too, but it is usually the father that is absent. I learned this first hand raising my daughter as a single parent. I never even thought about it until my girlfriend told me she could tell my daughter was raised without a woman’s influence. There was nothing bad about it, just that each parent contributes different things to their children.
Until we acknowledge that parents and schools, the community, and our religious institutions have separate roles, then our children will be stuck in a quagmire.
I’d be willing to bet that the profile of a young man who would inflict harm and death on children never learned to play with others, settle their differences without adult interference, or have a parent (father in most cases) that nurtured them along the right path.
Steven, as usual you are right on target and certainly with insights I resonate with. We have been in this situation for about 30 or 40 years so I guess it may take that long or longer to fix the problem. That will not happen with the progressive (read socialist/Marxist/communist) party in power, so the first step is to take the government and country back in the coming elections. Next is to elect candidates who will help get this done. Thirdly is to get the country, it’s economy and it’s educational systems back on track.
Mike Werneke
Excellent commentary on what may well be the largest problem our society faces today. If boys and girls are not taught to respect authority beginning with their parents, God, school teachers, police, and other proper authority figures while they are very young they will remain outliers their entire life. Outliers can be very dangerous as they tend to prey on the rest of us. They beat wives and children unmercifully, they refuse to obey their bosses and eventually become unemployable, drugs become their pacifiers and violence becomes their language of choice.
Our woke culture is creating a society of monsters, but the trend began long before woke became a movement and it started with parents who never grew up themselves and should not be having children. These children can become disruptive and sadly some parents will fight for the "right" of the child to do whatever they wish to anyone they wish.
America's infatuation with sports allows plenty of dangerous youths to hide behind their athletic abilities. Schools all to often overlook the violent actions of excellent athletes a few of which will rape, violate, and abuse others. Most athletes are not bullies but not dealing with those who are is unacceptable.
The bully problem can be solved but courts must allow corporal punishment to return to our schools and homes. This punishment must be used with restraint never temper influenced, never with violent intent, never with vengeance in mind, and never wielded by rascists, by sexual monsters, by men attempting to look powerful and force respect instead of earning it.
Today's bullies are viscious, sociopathic, occasionally psychopathic, mental weaklings who find pleasure in others pain. If not helped and cured while they are young their brutality will increase and the damage done to their victims will eventually lead to murder. In my youth bullies were usually dealt with by the person being bullied standing up to the bully with their fists. Now a child protecting themselves will be expelled from schools and children's organizations. Sadly guns and knives are so commonplace that a bully or a victim can become a killer all to easily.
Weapons are not the problem but children, youths, and adults who were never taught to respect these weapons and to never use them inappropriately become much more dangerous when they have a weapon.
All school shooters are not bullied but a substantial group of them suffered a great deal of bullying before they became violent. School systems must open their eyes to see whats happening and then immediately deal with it. If parents will not cooperate with the school then the bullies should be removed from the house they are living in and placed in the care of loving, mild mannered rehabilitative centers that specialize in resocializing the child. Fining parents who fail to properly love and care for their children and often bully their own offspring is appropriate as is jailtime in severe cases.
Ultimately the only real solution is a change in the heart of people including our national leaders.